Reading someone’s autobiography can go one of two ways. When I started Amy Poehler’s ‘Yes Please’ I had everything crossed. I needn’t have worried. This collection of essay-style memoirs has only made me love her more. Or wish that I was her Best Friend: Tiny Fey. Hilarious, Feminist, Hilarious again. She is honest and open, but the book isn’t just about her – it also manages to work as a self-help guide too. She may not actually be my bezza, but now she feels like my big sister. Or better still, that cool, funny older girl from school who seems to know so much more about the world and how to function in it (whilst still having a laugh).
One excellent part is her very detailed birth plan, here are a few snippets:
To all Caregivers, Doctors, Obstetrical Fellows, TMZ Interns and Hospital Staff: We are looking forward to the birth of our child and ask that the following wishes be respected during our birth process….
We have chosen to give birth in a hospital because of the outstanding facilities it makes available to us. We would also like to deliver our baby in a hospital since we spent most of our twenties getting stoned and watching episodes of ER, and so we know that delivering a baby is the best way to cheer up an attractive but beleaguered doctor. Please make sure our doctor is handsome and “cares too much.” We considered a home birth, but we just got ourhardwood floors redone. We also considered a birthing tub, but the mother is concerned the water won’t be warm enough. Is it too late to flood the hospital room? Or turn it into a really fun foam party? We are sorry for asking. The mother is very pregnant and would like to remind everyone her brain has turned into spaghetti.
We ask for vaginal exams only upon request. The mother requires at least a minute or two of chitchat before cold fingers are introduced. The mother would like to remind the staff that her vagina is the absolute last thing that she wants to have touched right now. The mother can think of a thousand things that she would rather havpresently poked at than her vagina. Honestly, the mother doesn’t know how the hell that baby is going to get out of there.
The mother also would like to request that the handsome doctor maintain eye contact at all times during said poking. Thank you in advance for your support of our choices. We look forward to a wonderful birth. We are excited but mostly scared. Have you SEEN the mother? She is TINY! How is this going to WORK exactly? Please advise.
Amy Poehler, Yes Please
Publisher: Pan Macmillan
Clemmie Telford is, in no particular order, a Creative Director at Grey London, Mama to two small boys: Bertie and Woody, complier of endless lists on the her blog Mother of All Lists and proud Peckhamite. She is passionate about empowering Mothers to believe in themselves or, at the very least, find a reason to laugh together at the mayhem of bring-up small humans.